California Soul

To say the least, our climate has been as predictable as an adolescent. Sunday was one of the days where your child actually astonished you with normalcy and grace. They cooperated.


The confluence of our daily work can leave us depleted or in the case of Sunday, energized. Attitude and influences swirl together and provide an unknown outcome..... maybe. Our processes of the inputs yield the output more than we can imagine. 


In the fourth score of my life I drove in to the life of a triathlete. The better term is a weekend warrior. Crafting a goal was not the end but it was a means of diverting negative energy from a divorce. Acting, tracking, executing, being myopic produced results that fed upon themselves. Here at 45 years old I was out pacing those "adolescents". The only reason was I believed I was good. 


Looking back, those few early success in races was probably not because of my endurance and speed but because the field was slow. As a green horn to the sport, I didn't know any different and so my subconscious fed on that positive reinforcement and drove me to become better. So much so I actually swam, biked and ran over 300 miles in one week while holding a full time job.


The result? I was never happier in my life about my accomplishments.


But that is so small compared to what others have faced. I recently listened to Marlena Shaw and realized the overwhelming struggles some have. How long they work to succeed and find peace to enjoy a sunny warm Sunday. 


Find strength in those.
Reach out and learn from them.
The greatest gift you have to give is yourself.


I leave you with this picture and for those of you old enough...... just remember the simpler times!

What will I build?

What will you build?

Hands....

The olfactory is a highway to the deep memories of our existence. Cedar...that kind of sharp but clean scent will stir my soul. Close to the mouth. Slightly moist from use. Cuddle with care and expertise. First there was one, then two years later, now countless. Never shall they be discarded - the lips are pursed tight - no wide open - blow in a staccato patter - now long but soft and then, hard at the end - roll the tongue.


"Here they come! Keep your head down! Don't let them see your eyes". See my eyes, its 6:14am I can't see 30 feet! And sure enough, in they came. Wild but orchestrated in a splash down mode. But not right away. They worked the landing area, a little recon, which way is the wind blowing (not that they truly thought of that! heck that's instinct), set the formation and in we go. 


It's December, pick any year between 1968 and 1978 - this always happened. Four hours prior we awoke and dressed, not a sound just the smell of coffee which this young boy did not drink. I did get hot chocolate and well before McDonalds came up with it, Super Sandwiches from my Mom. The car now loaded with the boat securely attached - how does he grab that frozen steel without gloves and attach that?


The drive is an hour, black without a car insight. Today, those roads are highways littered with lights, signs and those things that strip nature but I can't see them -won't let them invade this Cedar Memory! I sleep a bit, not a word between us. We know what's coming. Work, exciting work with rewards. 


We arrive and LaDue Resevoir has a thin sheet of ice at 4:45am. Oh, did I say it was dark and the boat is a 14' aluminum V shaped John boat. We only have about 3/4 of a mile to go in the dark, frozen water. Again, he disconnects the boat and drops it in the water without gloves. I am freezing as its only about 20F. Connect the electric motor and set the battery. Good, the top rails of the boat are about 5" inches above the water at full load. Woosh, in we go......


"Rock it! Side to Side! It will break the ice". Okaaaaayyy (in my mind), multiple layers of clothes, hoodie, overcoat, hat, Gloves of course and hip boots - oh they are insulated adding to the weight. Water is say 38F, it will take about 3 seconds to fill the boots when I go over, about 10 seconds to the bottom. Where is my knife. Got to cut these off, then strip. How will I find him - I've never seen him in the water let alone a bathing suit. Can he swim? He's huge! (In my mind) "Rock it, Rock it."......


Out to the center of the lake, under the over pass, now stay close to shore. That's a safe strategy.


"Ok, stop a minute. Which way is the wind blowing. Kind of southwest. Let's set up a J hook pattern. They will land into that." Again, no gloves. Those hands must be made of iron. No motor now. I have to row because the prop will get tangled in the lines. Around and around we go - my hands - deep inside gloves are freezing. His, dripping wet from lake water appear to be warm. All set!


And we sit........, in early and wait 45 minutes to an hour. Don't move - no noise. Uh, hello - moving might keep me warm. Nope, he is holding the Steel of his Ted Williams 12 gauge shot gun without gloves. At work, the boys say the heat is in the tools........


In all those years duck hunting with my Dad I never knew why/how he could do that. It was amazing to see the drive and preparation he put into this sport. When you truly love something it transcends all, even pain. The pursuit of happiness is so strong to our character it can override physical phenomenon.


Cleaning the basement recently, I grabbed one of my Cedar duck calls and in an instant relived countless duck hunting mornings.  "There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide: that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion: that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till".


I till as I am a provider. My daily preparation for my family, my work and being an active trader leaves me tired and satisfied yet still moving towards that day when I can go without gloves.....


What will you build?


What will I build?

Circa 1940's South Pacific. Marines John T. Wamelink

Fish Tacos....

It was Temecula! Temecula, California where I had my first fish tacos. A bright sunny day, arid and hot, tired from spending the day in a precast concrete plant, my friend Freebase took me to a little restaurant by the side of the road. I never heard of such a thing. Me? A mid-western Cleveland boy -  if t wasn't between a bun - no way.

But.... the Negro Modelo's swayed my better judgement and I tried the fish tacos. Smokey and spicy hot with lots of mesquite, we squeezed limes all over them that combined with the cilantro to refresh our spirits. Ok, maybe it was the beer. Either way I can smell and taste them some 11 years later. From time to time I attempt to make fish tacos. Oh, they are good - but not like the first time. It never like the first time. Is it?

Those tacos were so unique. The setting, my companion (we call him Freebase - ROFL), the exhaustive day, all lead to a one of a kind. While we are all one of a kind, I notice through my days people seem blended and homogenized. Are they afraid of being different, on the edge, of trying something new? Oh, you get the few who wear the piercings or wild clothes, but are they really different or just vying for attention? Excuse me, that piercing on your eyebrow is seeping!

I know of 2 fish Tacos..... Heather and (yep, you guessed it) Freebase. The live 2000 miles apart, never met, probably never will and live the life of "doing exactly what I want to do". They told me that with such grace I know its true. Can you say that? Heather and Freebase exude happiness. It comes from their eyes and the tone of their voice. If i were to recollect, I'll bet I think of them at least once or twice a week, "how utterly envious a life". 

What makes that happen in a person? No, I will not venture a comment here.... you ponder that. What I will say is that question pops up often in the context of my role as a father. Damn those pesky thoughts at 2:00 am. These fine young daughters of mine..... some 10, 20, 30 years from now, I believe they will say that they are doing exactly what they want to do. And in part, I hope I help them get to that point.

As for me, I am not there yet. Its been a long road and I chose a path that was not based on my happiness but on providing. Thats my nature - a provider, a hunter. Lately though I have made changes - well, some changes have been enacted upon me too. But, through careful cognitive work I now make choices with a theme of happiness, not of acquisition. Its a very strange feeling but its one I know from a long time ago as a child - being carefree. Of laying on the grass on the front lawn at 14 years old and looking up at the sky for what seemed like hours.........

I continue my efforts to build something new. I have made good progress and will be taking the next large step over 4 weeks. I am not afraid nor am I confident. Objective would be the right word. I am a bit excited to learn what the outcome will be.

What's on tap for the market on Friday:

AAPL r/g

NSU bottom play

DRIV

MFN

MKTG

SCO - oil is getting extened

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

What will I Build?

What will you Build?

Deep within man dwell those slumbering powers....

Speaking of slumbering.... I am just up form a long winter's nap. A snow covered trail beckoned me this early afternoon. Actually, @harmongreg tweeted he was going sledding and that's all I needed to  conjure up the idea to seek a bit of nature. And seek did I - hiked for two and half hours in Virginia Kendall National Park. Somewhere along the way the temperature started to fall. That, combined with the hills created a great taxing environment. So much so, that I arrived home, slugged a skin of agua and crawled under the covers. Wow!


Some two hours later.... here I am! With slumbering powers! Or at least a refreshed set of neurons that need to be put to use. While resting a recalled, funny how that happens as I thought I was resting, a quote by Orison Sweet Marden. "Deep within man dwell those slumbering powers..... powers that would astonish him, that he never dreamed of possessing.... forces that would revolutionize his life if aroused and put into action". I theorize that quote came to me as I prepare for a life changing event. 


Looking deeper, its the preparation that I am fond of. That tedious work that leads to Providence. Ok, maybe that's too profound of a word for this writing and it is meant in a smaller singular fashion. Nonetheless, careful efforts yield the results we desire. 


So what does it take to release those powers with in all of us? At the core, it comes down to environment and there are two schools of thought here. First, if you are nurtured in an environment of support with direction your chances of accessing those powers are greater. Why? Confidence. Many time individuals harbor latent fears that prohibit them in making decisions that will revolutionize their life. Second, there are those keen people who rise above it all and in the face of adversity must access those powers to just survive. Case in point are the countless immigrants who come to this great Country and succeed. Think Ahuja.


Over the next few months I will be making some great life decisions. I am excited to see how they unfold. In the meantime, I will prepare each day and reflect at night keeping my arousal for life and hope that I can revolutionize a corner of this world that will add to the well-being of my family, my friends, my community and the whole of humanity.

In the meantime, here's what's on tap for next week:

Earnings

08:30 am EST - Empire State Mfg Survey
09:00 am EST - Bank of Canada Announcement

Stock on watch for next week:

PANL - re-enter on dip, building a long term poz

PNX

CALL over 15

GA - will add over 4.18 w/vol

OSG on Vol with Shipper sector strong

NBY - been on watch for quite a while

FXEN

IMN - MACD turn

NM

"Worrying is like sitting on a rocking horse, it gives you something to do but you don't get anywhere doing it"

What will I Build?

What will you Build?

When you see it, Then you understand....

For tomorrow.... we seem to wait or "do it then". But when you see it, clear and in front of you, will you act on it? Why is it that we don't. Why is it that some do?


I can't pretend to know why some excel and why others don't, save for this man. It's not a lack of motivation. Heck, before the alarm is going off at 4:33 AM (no...I don't know why it's not 4:35 AM, it just is) I am up thinking; what will my daughters do today, are my construction projects stocked and manned, what proposals have to be completed, did I invoice for that extra, are the Futures up or down, did my significant other sleep well and on and on. Get the Tea on, iron the pants and plan a run after the day. No, its not motivation that holds this man or any man back.


Its not seeing that holds us back. I am thoroughly convinced that we cannot want or need one more resource to help us succeed. From our friends, to vast amounts of knowledge and sums of money, its all out there. We just elect not to see it.


Case in point: for some time I have successfully managed to limit my risk in the market. I learned about this concept early on but did not take heed. Oh, I saw it - take my word for it. Not hard to see it. But you have to understand it. For me, I used a game developed by the Van Tharp Institute to help learn how position sizing is critical to managing risk. But what is really amazing is what I saw this weekend. Its been sometime since I have seen any significant loss in a position, but I almost did this weekend. 

While playing a friendly game of poker, I could see and understand that my opponents had no concept of limiting risk in a strange poker game called Acey Deucey. You see, if you bet and match a card, you pay double your bet. You can bet the pot and loose big. During this game, we saw 21 card matches which ballooned the pot. I kept watching the same losers bet big and lose bigger. And that's really where the concept of position sizing really hit home. Yes, I know it and use it religiously but watching this painful display of carelessness was like an out of body experience. Finally I could take no more and proceeded to teach these poor, broke players about position sizing. Wow, did I ever save them $$$$.  


When you are out there, where ever that is, ask yourself if you understand it. Listen to that 3rd inner voice.. it will help.


For Tuesday I am watching:
The sun rise
BPAX
THQI
SORL
REE short
XNPT
SQNS
NGSX
MTW over 50dma
GMCR & JVA short squeeze
Add to my PANL on dips
GOOG if it gets to the 50dma




What will I build?


What will you build?

Rhythms...

Have you ever been told, don't get your hopes us? Seems like all last year that's all we heard from the market. "The employment was down slightly - don't get your hopes up, it;s because many left the work force". "The economy grew at a faster rate than economists predicted, don't get your hopes up, if Europe goes into a recession or some the European countries default, our economy will tumble". And on and on.....


I can remember hearing from my boss years ago, "you'll never make never make any money working for a corporation". What a thing to say! And those few in our past lives who always seem to put a wet blanket on a dream or goal. I am not sure why people think we should not HOPE! Hope is good but it does not replace the work required to achieve the things you want in life. I am not denying that we will see tough times. Those are the best if you can stay mindful during that period. 


These past six months for me have been a test, in many ways. More importantly is that I have found a way, oh and it has been a long way, to work through them. Narrowly speaking, I have worked hard on honing my trading skills/strategy and delving deeper into the math behind the market as well as the psychology of trading. It has been work, work, work. Night and day, while having the best year at my full time job as well. This work has not been in a vacuum. The long way was traveled with me by my significant other as well as my close family. They have been supportive of my Hopes and encouraged me along the way - Thank you.


I do also need to thank @danshepp (www.accessatrader.com) for his undying adn relentless drumming of sound trading skills and developing a strategy. Thanks Dan.


Today, it all paid off and there was a Rhythm! I had heard about this with other traders and thought I would never experience it. Lucky me? No way! It was the hard work. And I remember when I used to participate in triathlons how it felt to be in a rhythm during swimming, or pumping/pulling the pedals and the drumming of my feet on t he pavement. When there was rhythm there was no work.... it fell in to place. 


And that my friends in called "mis en place".


So whats in place for Friday:
affx, cqns, alim, ipsu, hsol, fro - as far as entries, that's where your work comes in. I will advise via Twitter if /when I take a position.


One final note, did you notice the market rhythms the last 2 days - afternoons were strong and spec money flowed.


What will I build?


What will you build?

Now, when you work it out....

I believe we are all working it out. Or at least most of us are, but I do know a woman who said she is Living Her Dream - that will be another post. Those that work at life or their passion are easily identifiable. Not from the way they look but from their actions and what they do / build each day.

There are 3 men that I interact with (lucky me) on different levels each day. All unique but clearly have a consistent work ethic that yields positive results. They are @danshepp55, @bman_microcaps and @speculator.

@danshepp55 is a consummate coach, optimist, gentleman (he wishes the twitterverse Well at the start of the trading day) and above all a committed strategist. He never deviates from his plan and that equals success. Check him out at www.accessatrader.com

@bman_microcaps is a machine. I know of no one else that can parse the flow of market information on microcaps better. He is a seasoned veteran of the market and has developed a strong following based on his accurate interpretation and timing of information. Moreover, he makes his own market. He recently started a blog and it can be found at http://bmanmicrocaps.blogspot.com.

@speculator, now this guys has ice in his veins. Spec, as he is affectionately referenced in the trading room "works" diligently to find high value, bottom plays. I would venture a guess that in a poker game you probably couldn't bluff him out. I have watched him ride out momentum for days when most would clip off a few pennies and be satisfied. If your looking for him, check out http://www.thelion.com.

And while these fine gents are prime examples of working it out every day and succeeding there is another young man who I am in awe of. This is a guy who despite his struggles with a terrible disease never ceases to keep "working it out". Ralph became a friend of mine many years ago. His character is beyond words. A wit that spans this planet and cracks with a humorous intensity so much so you can't wait for the next thing to come out of his mouth. With all of the issues facing him he keeps his character. 

He recently wrote on Facebook "Got the needle in my eye last Friday in my ongoing monthly treatments for radiation retinopathy; went to the dentist today and was told I need all four wisdom teeth removed next week to help alleviate my periodontal disease; got home to find a letter confirming my appointment for my colonoscopy. Also, I am mostly deaf, partially blind, fat and bald, and losing my mind. Thank God I don't have heart disease or cancer! Ah, good times, good times." How about that for an attitude! Ralph, love ya brother!

We all have things to work out, big things. People like @danshepp55, @bman_microcaps and @speculator show us how being committed and working it out every day can bring success. Guys like Ralph, well.....  he just operates on a different level. Hope I get there some day.

What will I build? 


What will you build?